THE NIGHT THEY DROVE THE CANDIDATES DOWN

Sometimes it really does seem like you couldn't invent this stuff...but while reading about Herman Cain's defenses of both his past as an employer of women and his present as a tabula resa in terms of Libya and other parts of the rest of the world, the opening line of The Band's 'The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down' ('Virgil Cain is my name/and I served on the Danville train') and the resentment which provides the emotional core of that song seemed to fit our current Tea Party world, that the rest of this just happened, as they say...so peace out

THE NIGHT THEY DROVE THEM DEEBATES DOWN

Herman Cain is my name

and I worked on the pizza chain

til Bachmann's insanity came

and tore up the prim'ry campaign

in the winter of 2011

I was trailin, barely made news at seven

Then came the babes with the stories to tell

It's a time I remember oh so well

The night I drove her forehead down

Liberal media grinnin

The night she claimed I felt around

Fox News pundits were spinnin

They went, gag gaga gag gaga

Gaga gag gag gaga gag gaga....

Back on the stump in Tennessee

Politico says to me

Herman quick come see

We've got the testimony

And one week later when it all came out

Said I don't know what you're talkin about

Don't remember that woman, not at all

And the settlement's somethin' else I don't recall

The night they drove the candidates down,

And it's just beginnin

The night they drove the candidates down

Why can't we do our own spinnin

Goin gag, gaga gaga gag

Gaga gag gag Gaga gaga gag

Out on the stump in Richmond town

Said 9-9-9'll bring your taxes down

Tea party they gave a frown

said it's just 666 upside down

Now it may be the devil who made me grope

But for tax policy there still must be hope

If I'm President, I'll make the country fine

And if I dont, at least I got mine

The night they drove them deeates down

The tea party was grinnin

The night they drove them candidates down

Cause Mitt Romney weren't winnin

They go, gag gaga gag gag

Gaga gaga gag gag gaga gag

Met with the papers in Milwaukee

And what did they say to me

Herman, do you agree

With Obama's take on Gaddafi?

Well, OK, so I answered slow

And I had to admit that I didn't know

WTF, it's only President,

Bush knew shit from Saddam and look where that all went...

The night they drove them deebates down

What was it they expected?

They night they drove them candidates down

Jes tryin to get elected

They went gag gaga gaga gag

Gaga gaga gag gag gaga gag

Like Rick Parry before me

I forget and smile

Unlike Mitt Romney longside of me

I'll hold a view for a while

Now I don't mind choppin Michelle

Santorum? Already gone to hell.

But if the voters notice what I lack

I'll say it could be worse, cause I could be Barack!

The night they drove them candidates down

Liberal pundits all grinnin

The night they drove us candidates down

Fox News says I'm winnin

they're all hah hahaha haha, haha haha hahahaha ha